Things it’s not about
- It’s not about Wham! They’re fine artists, and their original version of the song ('80s synth and all) is better than any of the many, many, many covers.
- It’s not that it’s melancholy. Lots of my favorite holiday songs are a little sad or wistful. “Blue Christmas,” “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” — all bummers, to varying degrees. So that’s not it.
- It’s not that it’s a popular song. This season is for nostalgia and familiarity. I feel no need to get all hipster and underground with my holiday playlists.
I think my problem lies almost entirely in the lyrics of the chorus. Maybe even the first half of the chorus.
It’s about the words.
First of all, the first actual words you hear of the song ARE the chorus. There’s no intro, no verse — just some light vocalizations and then right into the chorus. A fascinating songwriting choice, but we’re talking about the lyrics here.
Last Christmas,
I gave you my heart.
This is fairly straightforward from a metaphorical standpoint. Our point-of-view character is communicating that they “gave their heart” to another individual the previous Christmas. We can safely assume this was in the form of a declaration of love or some other act of romantic vulnerability rather than the literal gift of a vital organ. Moving on —
But the very next day,
You gave it away.
Here’s where the song starts to lose me. From a narrative standpoint, romantic betrayal on Boxing Day is certainly possible (and unfortunate), but if we’re to understand that the aforementioned gift of a heart was actually a declaration of love or faithfulness, how can that be “given away?” Was that love transferred to a different person? How can you “regift” affection?
I can imagine it means the original recipient made a choice that showed they did not value the giver’s vulnerability and attention.
A single word change could make that clearer: “But the very next day, you threw it away.” Does it roll off the tongue as easily? Maybe not, but it’s a more understandable continuation of the metaphor. The love was discarded. There you go.
Here’s where I get even pickier: The lyrics feel lazy. (George Michael, I’m so sorry.)
Like many writers, I’m familiar with good ol’ Rhymezone.com. If you look there for a rhyme for the word “day,” the fourth recommendation is “away.” (The second is “way,” which is almost the same thing.) The simplest of rhyme options. Compared to the lyrics in the rest of the song, the chorus feels like someone just said “eh, that works.”
I don’t like it. And I’m cranky now because I made myself listen to the whole song twice while writing this, just to make sure I wasn’t overreacting. I’m not. It’s not an enjoyable experience.
Let’s end on a lighter note.
I could go on. I could talk about how many times the chorus shows up in the song (so many). How some of the other lyrics are also a little convoluted or questionable. How the song itself is at least thirty seconds longer than it needs to be.
Instead, I will wrap up my contribution to this landing page by saying that while I may not enjoy “Last Christmas,” I truly love “This Christmas.”
My gift to you (along with my warmest wishes for the holiday season) is this video of Patti LaBelle performing “This Christmas” at the 1996 National Tree Lighting. (The cue cards with the lyrics are wrong. Her background singers are missing for most of it. She’s adlibbing and riffing like the powerhouse professional she is. It’s amazing.)
Happy holidays!